jaljamiri

friends
and says, " That’s her!! "

Sa aking Anak,

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensiyahan.

Kapag
dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng
sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang
isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako sa tuwing sinisigawan mo ako.

Kapag
mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag
mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo
o pakisulat nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag
mahina na ang tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo,
katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan
mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit-ulit na parang
sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako.
Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o
pagsasawaang pakinggan.

Natatandaan
mo anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng lobo, paulit-ulit mo ‘yong
sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga’t hindi mo nakukuha ang
gusto mo. Pinagtyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na
rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong
piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko.
Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan,
huwag mo sana akong pandirihan.
Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa?
pinatyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako’y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon,
magkwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang. Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap.

Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho,
subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik
na sabik na akong makakwentuhan ka,
kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko.

Natatandaan
mo anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin
ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako’y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaang alagaan.

Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako
man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan,
pagtyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay.
Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag
dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay
at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

At
huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos na lumikha,
ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagpalain ka sana … dahil naging mapagmahal
ka sa iyong ama’t ina…

Written by Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles
CWL Spiritual Director
St. Augustine Parish
Baliuag, Bulacan

Recently…i hav 2 asked myself…how can i be stupid 2 let these happen? nobody asked me to do these…now…i have 2 bear the pain…this self-inflicting pain. Now…i have to see him go…totally out of my life.

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in
front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the
car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I
went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were
steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a
civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at
the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more
likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was
the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her words
suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said,
Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my
wife. But I couldn’t help doing so.

I moved Dew’s hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.?
I’ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because
I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of
divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something
impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter
how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner.
I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing
Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what
will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently
she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t
imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the
staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something
while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled
at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live
together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I’ve got something to
tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt
in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic
calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her
angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced
at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman
who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But
I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to
see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found
she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me,
but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the
month’s time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was
simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she
didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you
still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This
question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded
and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I
have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when
we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from
the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to
end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the
result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel
uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped
behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense
of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked
over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly,
Let us start from today, don’t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove
to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long
time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on
her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were
still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The
visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where
she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about
this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was
picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few
but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was
thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I
knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense
of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. He said. To
him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part
of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I
turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your
arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn’t notice that our life
lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any
delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the
door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can
only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we
didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her
into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until
I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife
which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I
smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.

We live in a pathologically dissatisfied world. And I’m going to tell you why. Because we love to compare. Go around the world and discover that people aren’t happy with their bodies. Filipinos want to be fair-complexioned like Westerners, and so buy bleaching stuff. Westerners want to own bronzed bodies like ours, and so purchase tanning lotions.

Those with moles have them removed, while those who don’t strategically implant beauty spots. Some people want to shed a few pounds to look like Ally McBeal, while others want to gain some baby fat to look like Drew Barrymore.

When are we ever going to stop and simply be happy with how we look? We live in a sick world. I tell you. And that sickness is comparisonitis.

Take a look at wealth. When we drive our old Toyota , it really suits us fine. We feel blessed in fact when the rain pours outside and we feel snug and cozy on its faded upholstered seats. But the moment we see our own officemate (or neighbor, or buddy, or cousin, or brother) drive his sleek sky-blue, four-door, four-wheel-drive Rav4, we automatically feel like third class children of God. Next time we drive our bumpy, noisy, rusted, dilapidated Toyota (notice how all the defects come out all of a sudden?), we feel deprived, dispossessed, pariah, debased, and only a little higher than the insects of the earth.

Listen carefully.

Bill Gates’ total assets are worth $60 billion. That’s more than the GNP of some small countries. Tiger Woods earns $80 million simply by smiling on TV in a Nike shirt. And the stars of the sitcom Friends are paid $50,000 per episode! My point? No matter how hard you work, there’ll still be some people who will be richer than you are. And there’ll be some people who will be more beautiful, have more sex appeal, have more boyfriends / girlfriends, and have more problems. Try it for once. Stop looking around.

Don’t compare! Don’t compare her nose with your nose. Don’t compare his wife with your wife. Don’t compare his salary with your salary. Don’t compare her breast size with your breast size. Don’t compare her kid’s report card with your kid’s report card. Don’t compare his prayer group with your prayer group. Don’t compare her/his cellulite deposits with your cellulite deposits.

For crying out loud, stop comparing and start living And you’ll be happier with your life, I guarantee.

This is crucial: The most difficult thing in the world is to be who you are not. Pretending and trying to be someone else is the official pastime of the human race. (I don’t think dogs and cats and cows and horses have this problem.) And the easiest thing in the world is to be yourself.

Be happy. Live!

There must be a reason why God made you tall or short or fat or thin or bumpy all over.

Love who you are!

Married, single or in a relationship, the stuff we often take for granted is just what we should be grateful for!

As its name implies, Thanksgiving is a time when we give thanks for all that we are fortunate enough to have in our lives. Food, shelter, health, love, family, friends… As a general rule, no matter how bad things may sometimes seem, we’ve all got a lot for which to be thankful. Here are some of the seemingly small things many women take for granted:

Freedom: and I don’t mean this in the political sense we’re always hearing about on the news. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you have power over the decisions you make. Sometimes they’re harder than others, but the simple truth is that you create your own reality by the choices you make. So if you’re single, choose to make the most of your time with yourself – don’t sit around waiting for a man to complete you – complete yourself and a man to compliment you will come. And if you’re involved, remember who you are independent of your partner. The best way to have a healthy, happy relationship is to be two individuals… you know the saying – the whole is only as strong as its parts. It applies to relationships perhaps most of all!

Alone time: even if it’s just ten minutes a day, you grow when you get to collect yourself, your thoughts and your feelings. We sometimes have a tendency to avoid alone time. Whether it’s because we think it’s boring or lonely or just something we can’t afford to spare the seconds for in the course of our busy day to day lives, time to we take for ourselves is the time that shapes our lives and we should be grateful for the opportunity to spend time with ourselves. After all, if you don’t know how you feel or think or what you want, how can you expect to be happy? Quiet your mind and sit with yourself a little bit each day and you’ll find yourself experiencing a growing sense of calm. And while you’re at it, take some time to do things on your own on occasion as well. Whether it’s renting or going to a movie, going shopping or just sitting outside in the sun, enjoy your own company… you’ll have a lot more to offer when you’re in the company of someone else.

Girl time: while it’s easy for life to revolve around meeting a man, or a relationship with a man, girlfriends are truly people we can’t live without!
Think about some of the best times you’ve ever had with “just the girls” and you’ll probably find yourself in mini-hysterics. Whether it was your best friend’s antics on a college spring break trip, or the conversation at brunch last weekend, some of our most memorable moments are with the girls. Do you ever say thank you? We’re all grateful when we meet a great guy (or at least we should be), but very often we forget to appreciate the women who populate our lives in times of singlehood and when we’re involved. Make time for your girlfriends one day soon – and let them know how glad you are to have them in your life!

Men: they may drive us crazy with or without them, but at the end of the day, we’re glad they’re around! Whether you’re looking for one, struggling with one, happily single or happily involved, we have to take the time to appreciate the wonder that is the opposite sex. They may think and act different than us a lot of the time, but whether we see it or not, they do feel, and they do want to give love and be loved. So rather than get annoyed the next time your guy (or guy friend) says something you find ridiculous, or chooses a football game over a cocktail party (or vice versa depending on your tastes!), take a second and be grateful for differences. Without them, life would be kind of boring!

The bad times: while they’re not fun when they’re happening, without them, the good times wouldn’t seem so good. Okay, so you’re skeptical. After all, a positive spin can be put on anything. But one of the biggest lessons we learn as we get older, is that life is full of ups and downs – and the downs are usually where we make the decisions that shape our lives. If you’d never had your heart broken (on a big or small scale), how would you learn to handle someone else’s with care? If you never put in the effort to make a struggling relationship work rather than just giving up, how would you and your mate get any closer? Bad times bring people together… and they allow us to experience joy when things take a turn for the positive. So be grateful for your lessons and know that while they’re hard to learn, bad times are the stuff from which you learn to create abundance – in life and in love!

There are many things that we can do to perk up and strengthen our

interpersonal relationships. Yet the most effective involves the

saying of just three words. When spoken or conveyed, these statements

have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and

restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three-word phrases can enrich every relationship.

I'll Be There:

If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night,

to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down

some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the

phrase "I'll be there."

Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give.When we are truly present for other people, important things happen
to them and us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are



restored emotionally and spiritually.



Being there is at the very core of civility.





 


I Miss You:



Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples



Simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you."



This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed,



Desired and loved. Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an



Unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say



"I miss you."





 



I Respect You:
Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling



 That another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they



were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become close friends.



This applies to all inter-personal relationships.




Maybe You're Right:This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring
frayed emotions. The flip side to "maybe your right" is the humility of



admitting, "Maybe I'm wrong". Let's face it. When you have a heated



argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person's point of



view. They, or you, will not change their stance and you run the risk



 of seriously damaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're



right" can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you



may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational



manner.





 



Please Forgive Me:
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would



admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable



to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own



up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words,



that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.





 



I Thank You:
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the



Companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for



granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of



kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely



constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.





 


Count On Me:



A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.



Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the



Emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend



To be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there



indicating you can "count on me."





 


Let Me Help:



The best of friends see a need and try to fill it.



When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it.



Without being asked, they pitch in and help.





 


I Understand You:



People become closer and enjoy each other more if



they feel the other person accepts and understands



them. Letting your spouse know in so many little



ways that you understand them, is one of the most



powerful tools for healing your relationship.



This applies to any relationship.





 


I Love You:



Perhaps the most important three words that you can say.



Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a



person's deepest emotional needs;



the need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted.



Your family, your friends and you,



all need to hear those three little words. "I love you."





 




 


And how about "God Bless You?"





 




 


God bless.





 

* Have a firm handshake.

* Look people in the eye.

* Sing in the shower.

* Own a great stereo system.

* Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

* Always accept an outstretched hand.

* Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

* Whistle.

* Avoid sarcastic remarks.

* Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all   your happiness or misery.

* Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

* Lend only those books you never care to see again.

* Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

* When playing games with children, let them win.

* Give people a second chance, but not a third.

* Be romantic.

* Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

* Loosen up. Relax.  Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first   seems.

* Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for your convenience, not the caller’s.

* Be a good loser.

* Be a good winner.

* When someone hugs you, let them be the  first to let go.

* Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

* Keep it simple.

* Beware of the person who has nothing  to lose.

* Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you  have to cross the same river.

* Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

* Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the one’s  you did.

* Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

*  Remember no one makes it alone.  Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge  those who helped you.

* Take charge of your attitude.  Don’t let someone else choose it for you.

* Visit friends and relatives when  they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.

* Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

* Once in a while, take the scenic  route.

* Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you’re terrific.’

* Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

* Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side  table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3  a.m.

* Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.

* Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

* Make someone’s day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.

* Become someone’s hero.

* Marry only for love.

* Count your blessings.

* Compliment the meal when you’re a guest in someone’s home.

* Wave at the children on a school bus.

* Don’t expect life to be   fair.

* Read your Bible and Pray Everyday.